The person I chose to love,
and have loved —
I can never be with her again.
I cannot be for her.
She cannot be for me.
We loved, and have loved.
and have loved —
I can never be with her again.
I cannot be for her.
She cannot be for me.
We loved, and have loved.
I try to move on. But
the process is —
(I don't know the word for it)
the process is —
(I don't know the word for it)
I go on dates, I meet.
I try to let them see me.
And I try to see them.
I try to let them see me.
And I try to see them.
But when they ask,
"Are you still in love with your ex?"
I look at my glass of water
and faithfully lie: "I'm over her."
"Are you still in love with your ex?"
I look at my glass of water
and faithfully lie: "I'm over her."
The conversation continues.
My eyes, back to her wavering hands.
Mind, at the dusty watercolor memory.
My eyes, back to her wavering hands.
Mind, at the dusty watercolor memory.
An unrequited love.
Requited enough.
Requited enough.
I think of her.
No longer with longing, maybe;
not with respect, nor disdain.
But with concern.
No longer with longing, maybe;
not with respect, nor disdain.
But with concern.
I haven't held someone
with such deep warmth since.
with such deep warmth since.
I don't understand why I want someone.
I don't understand why I shouldn't.
I don't understand why I shouldn't.
I juggle,
penny, party, pantry, paltry;
pleasantries.
penny, party, pantry, paltry;
pleasantries.
It's not fun.
It's not fair.
But, I go on.
It's not fair.
But, I go on.
contradiction